☺ Gym of One
*ringgg ringgggg, ringgg ringggg*
Cindy (answers phone brightly): Gym of One L.A., goooood morrrnning!
Mr. Jones (stern): Hello. Who is this?
Cindy (singsong): Cinnnnddyyy Speaking! Are YOU ready to join the 'One?
Mr. Jones: No. Let me speak to Marsha.
Cindy: Marsha, hmmmm, let me just check the schedule...
Mr. Jones: Just put her on the phone.
Cindy (happily): Oh! Here she is, Marsha Moonbug. She's leading a spinning class right now...
Mr. Jones: Spinning? I've heard about you people and your "activities" and your "fun."
Cindy: Can I leave her a message?
Mr. Jones: No, I do NOT want to leave her a message. I want to talk to Marsha JONES, right now.
Cindy (confused): Jones? We don't have a Marsha Jones working here, sir, I'm very sorry.
Mr. Jones: She doesn't WORK there, she was recruited by you people.
Cindy: Oh, a client! I misunderstood. Let me just check the membership logs.
Mr. Jones: Whatever, we just want our little girl out of there.
Cindy: Okayeee, let's see. Well, we have a Jenny Jones, but's she's not here now.
Mr. Jones (angry): Moonbug, Jenny, I don't care what you call her...
Cindy: Wait, Mr. Jones. I can tell you're upset, but I'm not sure why. Would you like to speak to the Director?
Mr. Jones: Sure, put him on.
Cindy (to Nathan, quietly): Nathan, you better take this. A 'Ben Jones' says he wants his daughter out of here.
Cindy points to her written notes with the names Marsha Jones, Moonbug, and Jenny
Nathan (answers phone pleasantly): Nathan here, are you prepared to let out your inner 'One?
Mr. Jones: I'm coming over there, and putting a stop to this nonsense.
Nathan (reading Cindy's notes): Um, sir, I'd like to help, but there seems to be some confusion about your daughter's name. Can you tell me when she joined the 'One?
Mr. Jones: About 4 months ago, I think. None of her old friends can tell us exactly.
Nathan: Well, if she signed a contract with us that long ago, I'm sorry, but there will be a penalty to pay before we can release her.
Mr. Jones (choking): Contract?! I KNEW it! You people, with your "classes" and your "music" ... it's all about MONEY!
Nathan: We do have to pay the bills, Mr. Jones, that's true, but I assure you, our terms are very reasonable. Why don't you come by and I'll show you around?
Mr. Jones: Damn right I'm coming by! You tell whoever is in charge there, that Ben Jones' daughter will be leaving you.
Nathan (soothing): Yes, Mr. Jones, I understand. We are located by Universal at 436 Harmony Ave. Can I put you down for a 2pm appointment?
Mr. Jones: I don't need an appointment. I'll be there when I get there, I'm flying out now.
Nathan: No problem, and will Mrs. Jones be accompanying you? I bet she would love one of our healthful orange smoothies!
Mr. Jones: what? No she will not. Mrs. Jones will be taking care of our other daughter.
Nathan (upbeat): Excellent, well, thank you for calling the 'One, and we will look forward to your visit!
*click*
Cindy: He thought we were that cult, didn't he? We really need to change the name.
Nathan (grinning): Are you kidding? They feel so guilty when they realize their mistake, it's awesome.
Cindy (smiling, pats Nathan's Jr. staffer badge): Okay, Director, but I get half the commision for this one, if he signs up.
Nathan: You got it. I've sold 4 golden family memberships this month already!
Nathan and Cindy high-five.
~ QtheC
Cindy (answers phone brightly): Gym of One L.A., goooood morrrnning!
Mr. Jones (stern): Hello. Who is this?
Cindy (singsong): Cinnnnddyyy Speaking! Are YOU ready to join the 'One?
Mr. Jones: No. Let me speak to Marsha.
Cindy: Marsha, hmmmm, let me just check the schedule...
Mr. Jones: Just put her on the phone.
Cindy (happily): Oh! Here she is, Marsha Moonbug. She's leading a spinning class right now...
Mr. Jones: Spinning? I've heard about you people and your "activities" and your "fun."
Cindy: Can I leave her a message?
Mr. Jones: No, I do NOT want to leave her a message. I want to talk to Marsha JONES, right now.
Cindy (confused): Jones? We don't have a Marsha Jones working here, sir, I'm very sorry.
Mr. Jones: She doesn't WORK there, she was recruited by you people.
Cindy: Oh, a client! I misunderstood. Let me just check the membership logs.
Mr. Jones: Whatever, we just want our little girl out of there.
Cindy: Okayeee, let's see. Well, we have a Jenny Jones, but's she's not here now.
Mr. Jones (angry): Moonbug, Jenny, I don't care what you call her...
Cindy: Wait, Mr. Jones. I can tell you're upset, but I'm not sure why. Would you like to speak to the Director?
Mr. Jones: Sure, put him on.
Cindy (to Nathan, quietly): Nathan, you better take this. A 'Ben Jones' says he wants his daughter out of here.
Cindy points to her written notes with the names Marsha Jones, Moonbug, and Jenny
Nathan (answers phone pleasantly): Nathan here, are you prepared to let out your inner 'One?
Mr. Jones: I'm coming over there, and putting a stop to this nonsense.
Nathan (reading Cindy's notes): Um, sir, I'd like to help, but there seems to be some confusion about your daughter's name. Can you tell me when she joined the 'One?
Mr. Jones: About 4 months ago, I think. None of her old friends can tell us exactly.
Nathan: Well, if she signed a contract with us that long ago, I'm sorry, but there will be a penalty to pay before we can release her.
Mr. Jones (choking): Contract?! I KNEW it! You people, with your "classes" and your "music" ... it's all about MONEY!
Nathan: We do have to pay the bills, Mr. Jones, that's true, but I assure you, our terms are very reasonable. Why don't you come by and I'll show you around?
Mr. Jones: Damn right I'm coming by! You tell whoever is in charge there, that Ben Jones' daughter will be leaving you.
Nathan (soothing): Yes, Mr. Jones, I understand. We are located by Universal at 436 Harmony Ave. Can I put you down for a 2pm appointment?
Mr. Jones: I don't need an appointment. I'll be there when I get there, I'm flying out now.
Nathan: No problem, and will Mrs. Jones be accompanying you? I bet she would love one of our healthful orange smoothies!
Mr. Jones: what? No she will not. Mrs. Jones will be taking care of our other daughter.
Nathan (upbeat): Excellent, well, thank you for calling the 'One, and we will look forward to your visit!
*click*
Cindy: He thought we were that cult, didn't he? We really need to change the name.
Nathan (grinning): Are you kidding? They feel so guilty when they realize their mistake, it's awesome.
Cindy (smiling, pats Nathan's Jr. staffer badge): Okay, Director, but I get half the commision for this one, if he signs up.
Nathan: You got it. I've sold 4 golden family memberships this month already!
Nathan and Cindy high-five.
~ QtheC
lol q, ur on a roll:)
ReplyDeletevery good ;)
ReplyDeletethis should become a video!
After reading the tshirt post first, wouldn't "Gym of One" make a great tshirt?
ReplyDelete-immo1
Maybe Jonas should sign up... that guy really needs to cut out the junk food and get a little exercise.
ReplyDeleteHilarious. I definately think this should become a video too :)
ReplyDelete~megmegs229